(November 9th 2022)
Hellllllooooooo everybody.
In the words of Cam Newton
Matt has a pretty busy week (as do I) so I’m going to be doing an abbreviated newsletter this week. But hey, we got DOUBLE the content last week thanks to Joe’s 22-minute-long manifesto of stats and insights.
Side note: You guys should be reading every word of content that is put into these newsletters, no matter who wrote it. They take a decent ammount of time (for Joe’s we can really only imagine) and as Cam said, the newsletters “really set this league apart”. So yeah, read ALL OF IT (If you think I am talking to you, I am).
I wasn’t even going to talk about the Eagles, but with the Bills losing to Zach Wilson this week, I feel like this is the week I throw out this take: “The Eagles have a VERY legit chance of going 17–0” I’m not saying it is going to happen, but there is a real chance. Also, it gives the Eagles’ haters something else to root against. But anyways, the NFL is still bad and it really feels like it could still be anyone’s year. Unlike our league where about half of you have no chance this year. But let’s rank everyone anyways.
With that being said, The Official Power Rankings are back for another week, so let us see where you fellas all stack up.
Enjoy.
Power Rankings
I didn't want to do straight power rankings this week so instead, a certain someone and their keeper inspired me to do everyone’s QB compassion.
1. Ozark’s Forgiveness(7–2)
(Previous 3.)
Josh Allen
Andrew is really solid and despite what’s happening in the rest of the league, everyone just kind of expects him to be in the championship. Like Josh Allen, no one is really rooting against him, they just admire what he does week in and week out. However, Josh Allen is lowkey regressing statistically and his decision-making seems a little suspect as of late…. I personally am annoyed by Josh Allen but that is neither here nor there.
2. Le Petite Prince(7–2)
(Previous 1.)
Patrick Mahomes
Had a solid season last year (Scoring Champion), but couldn't do it in the playoffs. Came back this year to remind everybody that I am HIM even without a star-studded group of receivers. Can’t think of a better comparison, even down to the social media-loving brother…
3. Tennis Court Ministry (6–3)
(Previous 2.)
Tua Tagovailoa
Lowkey has been a REALLY solid QB (league leader in QBR) and like Matt’s team, is still criminally underrated. Tua is known to have Waddle and Hill bail him out on some bad throws just like Matt has to rely on the scoring exploits of Tyreek Hill and Josh Allen. I don’t think anyone really expects Tua to lead the Dolphins to the Super Bowl, but Matt has a real chance of making it all the way. Also, who in our league loves content like Tua’s concussion more than Matt?
4. Sauce Boss (5–4)
(Previous 5.)
Kirk Cousins
How could this be anyone but Kirk Cousins? I’m sure Joe still likes that from his time with the Redskins. Now tell me you couldn't see Joe acting just like Cousins in that video on the plane, ESPECIALLY if he has had a few white claws. Also, both are notoriously Anti-Vax… Anyways, like Cousins, Joe is overperforming this year and it’s hard to tell if it is forreal or not.
5. Keeping up with the Jones(5–4)
(Previous 5.)
Geno Smith
Geno Smith is a bad Quarterback and Alex sucks at fantasy football. These were two intrinisc truths a mere 4 months ago. BUT look at them now. Alex is flexing on almost everyone by being above average and just like watching the Seahawks every week, I still dont’t know if I really believe it.
6. You Just Got Cammed(3–6)
(Previous 9.)
Joe Burrow
They both started off the season so poorly, and it was hard to figure out why. Whether it was bad luck, injuries, or poor roster management (OL for the Bengals, QB for Cam) they looked like they were gonna suck. Now that Cam has gotten into the swing of things he, like the Bengals, could start to be feared again.
7. Honeymoon Baby(4–5)
(Previous 6.)
Andy Dalton
Luke is just like Andy Dalton. We all have fond memories of him from back in the day (COVID year), but now we don’t really know what to make of him. He probably isn't as good of a league member as some think he is (Me), but also isn't as bad as some say (Cam, Matt, Joe, etc). He just kind of exists.
8. Donda Chant (4–5)
(Previous 8.)
Aaron Rodgers
Matt is Aaron Rodgers and Jonathon Taylor/Najee Harris are Devante Adams. They dominated the league together last year, both leading their respective leagues in wins, but one year later it’s all falling apart. A true fall from grace... Also, Matt and Rodgers have/had the same haircut AND both attempted to hold out when things didn't go their way.
9. DJ Laid(1–8)
(Previous 10.)
Mac Jones
Everyone knew that Mac Jones wasn't as good as his record last year, just like we knew Seth wouldn't be a real contender in Fantasy Football this year. I also think there are some parallels between Belichek’s no-nonsense organizational approach and a certain pastor/church’s (let’s just say somewhat) legalistic style. If the Patriots were Christians they would for sure be applying to go to CCF.
10. AL’s Chicken(3–6)
(Previous 8.)
Russell Wilson
I came up with this theme just so I could compare Allen to Russell Wilson. They both fell into a great position and then somehow managed to squander it. Allen had a solid roster and draft picks and then it just fell apart. Wilson had a solid cache of weapons and an incredible defense and yet insisted on losing week in and week out. But both have praised God throughout at least. Let’s Ride (next year maybe)!
*Allen dropped Russ at 9:19AM on Wednesday which is a sad way for a KEEPER to go out
Week 10 Matchup to Watch
Le Petite Prince(7–2) vs. Ozark’s Forgiveness(7–2)
A true battle of the Titans. A dominant league favorite vs a 7 game-winning streak. A 3 headed monster vs a 4–6 headed beast (sounds like something straight out of Revelation (that’s the last book of the Bible for those who didn't know)). I mean this is the league hero vs the league villain! A matchup that I’m sure everyone is excited to see (especially if a certain commissioner loses). Matt and Cam both said as much by picking Andrew to humble me. I however, belive that the revenge tour shall keep rolling for an unprecedented 8th WIN IN A ROW.
Cam’s record in Matchup to Watch: 5–3
Keegan’s record in Matchup to Watch: 5–4
Matt’s record in Matchup to Watch: 4–4
And with that, everyone have a good week, and may the fantasy football odds ever be in your favor.
-Keegan (Commissioner)
